ASK AMY: Phone use at concert is not music to their ears

Dear Amy: My husband and I’ve season tickets to our native symphony. Before the beginning of every concert, viewers members are requested to silence all cellphones and to NOT document any a part of the efficiency.

During the final two live shows we attended, we’ve sat behind a number of individuals who have whipped out telephones and recorded the concert.

Last time, one couple, in addition to recording, had slightly loud conversations and proceeded to take “selfies” (at midnight). We have been not the one individuals disturbed by this.

I do know that recording the efficiency upsets the musicians. (And the loud speaking/images hassle the viewers!)

Amy, might you please give a rundown of some concert-going guidelines, and clarify why there ought to be no filming of (any) public performances?

— Enjoying the Music

Dear Enjoying: Here is some very clear course, lifted from the New York Philharmonic web site ( “Audience members may take photographs before and after the concert, as well as during intermission and applause. Please note, however, that no photography or recording of any kind is permitted during the performance. Anyone seen using a camera, smartphone or other device for these activities will be asked to leave.”

And right here is a quote from an article revealed in “Billboard” Magazine:

“Federal law … imposes civil penalties for the unauthorized recording of live performances or the transmission or distribution of such. This is true even if the bootlegging is not done for commercial gain. The statute provides that anyone who engages in these prohibited acts is potentially liable for money damages. A court may also impound applicable recordings.”

Some widespread performers at the moment are requiring that viewers members truly give up their telephones when getting into a venue.

Performers and conductors have the fitting to carry out with out their mental property being recorded and probably shared. Audience members have the fitting to take pleasure in a efficiency with out being subjected to the apparent distraction of brilliant smartphone lights.

Selfish viewers members want to perceive that they’re not a part of the night’s efficiency. No one is entranced by turning into an unwitting photobomb in their selfies.

Ask anybody round you to, “Please stop using your phones now.” If they refuse, get an usher instantly.

Dear Amy: Our daughter, a university freshman, had a really restricted social life in highschool. She was well-liked in class, however on weekends, maybe as a result of she didn’t drink or smoke, she was principally at house (however not sad).

At the top of senior yr, she met a boy and began courting. She was going out and having enjoyable. Still not “partying,” although.

He was a pleasant boy, however not wildly formidable. We remained neutrally supportive, understanding that she was going away to faculty. He works retail jobs, lives at residence and is now smoking pot.

Meanwhile we came upon (via a glitch within the household iMessage) that she’s seeing a man in her school city. He’s not in school, however works in a sandwich store.

We don’t know what to do. On the one hand we really feel stupidly old style and classist; on the opposite we really feel our sensible, charming daughter deserves higher.

Is there a approach to speak to her about this? Or ought to we maintain religion in her and let issues take their course.

— New Old-Fashioned Dad

Dear Dad: Yes, you’re reacting to this relationship in a approach that is old style and classist. The concept, as an example, that somebody is not “good enough” as a result of he is working — versus going to your daughter’s school — is patently ridiculous. He might be taking a niche yr to care for an ailing member of the family. He could possibly be working at a sandwich store till he can afford to pay for his personal schooling. Or he may be an underachiever who has incredible style in ladies.

This relationship has nothing to do with you, till your daughter chooses to disclose it to you. Having quite a lot of relationships will probably be an essential a part of your daughter’s schooling. She have to be “allowed” to discover and expertise. And sure, you must undoubtedly retain an angle of supportive neutrality.

Dear Amy: “Put Upon Friend” wrote to you a few good friend who was periodically abusive towards her. I’ll inform you what I did in an identical state of affairs: When my “friend” advised me, “I wish you were gone,” I stated, “Great!” And I felt liberated. Freedom!

— No Longer Put Upon

Dear No Longer: “Put Upon’s” pal is bipolar. This provides a degree of complication, and implies a degree of compassion. But I perceive your personal response.

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